Monday, June 29, 2009

Lack of Posting

Some things have gone on lately. Bad terrible things. And I had suddenly stopped blogging. I feel terrible about it. But I think while I was away I had the chance to find apart of me...a part that was always there, under all the things that have happened.

So, this person has thrown a lot of stuff on us lately. This perosn was my problem last post, and has led us to a lot of things. They were on house arrest lately, because their friends picked them up in a stolen car, and they didn't know, but they were still charged. They were on house arrest until the court date, but yesterday, they decided to cut off the anklet from house arrest and run. They had an hour after they left to come home and only be charged with cutting it off, but they didn't come home until later that evening....and I had to watch them arrest him. Yes, he's one of my best guy friends, and it is a guy. His mom was over there and she was one case.

I woke up yesterday morning to find out that he had cut it off. His brother acted ok, but he was a mess. Just like me. I spent quite some time in the bathroom, crying my eyes out. Then later, I was talking to his brother, and we both cried for 5 minutes. But he told me that he didn't want to see his brother arrested, so my aunt took us to the Dollar Tree, and his mom was so thankful....until we arrived home too early. We got there in time to see him walking out in cuffs....

It's hard to see your best friend get arrested, so natrually I started balling. So did his mom, and my aunt gave her a hug, and his brother hugged her, and then he came in our garage and I was already crying, and he started to cry too and then his mom came over and kept crying and telling him it would be ok and that it wasn't the last time we'd see him. And she looked at me and hugged me. I've never felt so loved before. Just to have her hug me and tell me it would be alright was enough to rip my heart apart. Then I realized my cousin watched it all.

My cousin is 3...and he looks up to him like a brother....and he came to me and said, "He's goin to jail, TanTan..."

It broke my heart.

So I was slowly stopping my crying and his brother and mom had gone back to his dad's house (their parents are divorced) and when their mom came back out she looked at me and mouthed, "It'll all be ok."

She was (and still is) really concerned about me. And I'm concerned about her.

So as you can guess, I'm crying again, as I type this post. I have hit my depression again. I feel like I'm going to get sick all the time, and I'm always crying, and I'm irritable, and no I'm not PMSing, but it just breaks my heart.

Even though this has happend, I realized something...I still care for this person, even if they don't care for me as much. Or maybe they do. I don't know, but I still haven't given up on this person, because they know me, I know apart of them, and I know that he wishes to be a good person again...he's just lost.

Signed and Laced with Dreams (and a few tears this time),


8401 said...

TanTan. im so sorry and so glad that i get to come friday and help cheer you up :) i know this is really hard for you. And that you really like him. you have my number for when ever you want to talk and i mean WHEN EVER! i dont care if its 2 in the morning call. im always here for you

Tandice said...

I'd Call at 2 in the morning, except I'm sure Marie wouldn't like that very much. <3

Steven said...

Thank you for following my blog :)

While I can't really compare my experiences to yours, I can really relate to how you are feeling in your depression. It seems, with me at least, that as soon as things start looking up and things start returning to normal, something comes along that drags me back down into my pit of depression. You summed it up brilliantly in your last comment on my blog: "I've got the support, just not the motivation". I've got the support from my friends, but something inside me just doesn't want to let go of how I'm feeling.

I'm sorry about your best guy friend. He's lucky to have someone like you who cares about him, even if he doesn't quite realise it.

SimplyShy01 said...

I am so sorry about this Tandice!


I'd advice you to listen to some music or talk to someone, perhaps a great friend! Do something to keep you occupied and make you feel better. I'm sorry if I'm not that helpful, but I'm trying. Is there someway that you can contact him?

Stay strong, take care.


Katie [The BleuTrumpet] said...

I'm sorry. That must really hurt. You have to stay strong, be brave, and somehow, find a way to make it through. It will be alright eventually.

Hailey said...

i think me and julia might have to just take you guy shopping, to get your mind off of things for a while at least. let you have some fun. :D miss you T