Sunday, September 27, 2009

so much that needs to be said.

I am just so overwhelmed. I want to scream and lash out, hit something, hear the sicking crack of a bone or two, the feeling of knowing you aren't as weak as you feel you are.

So much I want to say! And then when I go to speak my mind I get all jumbled up and nothing comes out right.

Drama is a stupid thing, and people start it for attention. CONGRATULATIONS! you have my attention and it's not the nice kind. I don't trust a single one of you and I probably never will! They had no right to go and say I'm trying to take over first chair. WE HAVE NO CHAIRS! I will fight for what is mine.

The last guy who liked me but had a girlfriend, well I'm kicking him to the curb. He isn't worth my time if he has someone else. I like two guys. I'm not sure who I will like more, but I guess as I become friends with them I will get to know. One is slowly opening up to me. What can I say, I'm easy to talk to. The other, (and i'm not positive) ocasionally is looking in my direction. He's cute, and he's definately true to himself, not some person who has their head shoved up their butt. The first one does have a girlfriend, and I know my place. I'm just a friend and that's how I like it. I'm not sure about the second one.

My sister is getting on my nerves and I just want to beat the crap out of her just to put her in her place. She's nine and likes to think she's on top of the world and that she's in charge. She also likes to blame the reason she hates our house on me. IT'S A DOUBLE SIDED WORLD! YOU PEEVE ME OFF AND I WILL BE RUDE. Yes I am aware I can be a heartless bitc* and I'm proud of it because I'm not going to give away pretend pity. That's just stupid on my half.

So as you can guess, I'm a mess right now. I'm going to go to bed and I guess I'll break down things in the next week or so.

Peeved and Upset

P.S. Do I even have any faithfull readers now that the summer is over?


Steven said...

I still read your blog when you post.

I know the feeling about wanting to hear bones crack and wanting to scream.

Crescentise said...

Of course you do, Tandice.
I'm so sorry that your sister is being stupid - it must be really annoying and stressful, you can't afford to waste time on justifying why you are what you are. I'm glad you're being assertive on the boyfriend front; good luck in that area.
Oh, and I hate drama as well. It's disgusting and makes me want to lash out. The bad thing is, knowing me, it's very risky to start drama with me around because once I begin refusing to swallow all the hate down (which only happens when I'm at the end of my tether; which is rare considering I'm a meek person generally) I lash out dangerously physically and verbally. If I was there I would personally kill anyone and everyone who would dare annoy you in this way.