Pretty flowers

Pretty flowers. I took the picture with my phone, so it's actually kinda of good. I think I took it at a nice angle, with the lighting and everything...

Some of you are probally wondering if I'm doing okay....after some of my older posts. Well, to answer your questions...No, I'm not really ok. I'm doing BETTER, but not all that well. I must say, it's been a nice time, being away for the weekend after what I call the most terrible mental and emotional breakdown ever in my history. It's kind of been an on going process, so when I don't cry one day, it's double the next.

Found out some more information. Bryce's court date is the 7th of March, so I'll be uptight all day that day. I'm actually nervous to hear what's going on, but I hope they won't keep him in over a year. That'd be just heart wrentching, because (as you all should know by now) I still have feelings for him... I'm hoping they'll bring him home soon, or that if he does have to stay for a while, when he gets home, he'll understand the Hell he's put me, his dad, his mom, his younger brother, and the whole neighborhood through. I want him to look me in the eyes long enough for me to say, "Hey, I still love you after all this shit you've put me through, and I'm here to turn you're world upside down. You and I are like...meant to be (or at least in my eyes) and I don't want to see you ruin this for the both of us. I'm here for you now, and together we're going to fix this." He'll probablly laugh at me and say, "Bull shit, I've got Taylor (his last known girlfriend, but idk now that he's in juvi...) and my friends, and I don't need you" or even, "Tandice, get the hell away from me."

Sometimes I wonder if maybe this was his stupi mistake, but my fault.

I suppose I'll let you know. I've been talking to his dad about things and I think, when they find out how long he's supposed to stay in there, I'm going to see if I can't work up the courage to see him. Tell him how stupid he's been. I don't know but I hope to see him soon, because I feel like a part of me is missing.....Does that mean I'm too attached to him... that maybe I should let go a little..I hope not, because I don't have the strength to let go of him. Despite what some adults say, I believe that I know what love is, and that I am and indeed was in love with Bryce.

Geeze, that was a confession of a lifetime...

Well, Orlando Bloom is on TV, playing that HOT elf in Lord of the Rings so maybe he'll cheer me up...Oh, and just to farewarn ya'll I might be grounded for some unknown reason...If I am, that'll suck some major butt.

Trying to get a grip on myself, reality, and the future,

Signed & Laced with dreams,

Tandice