Sunday, October 19, 2008

Nightmare Come True

Nightmare come true....
I was asked out by this guy, BUT before you laugh read the whole story, and then you'll know why it's a nightmare.

An ex-friend of mine had sent a text message to a guy I liked that was my aunt's neighbor and we were really close friends. To my greater surprise, he said yes. I was happy, delierious. It was the best 13 days of my life. I was at my dad's that week, so I didn't even get to see him, but Friday June 13 I got to see him. He came over to my aunts and we played Guitar Hero, held hands, cuddled, all totally in my safe zone. Never more. It was like that all week, until it was time for me to go to my dad's again. I didn't want to go, but I had to.
That same ex-friend was over, we were close then. It was weird, the feeling I got when she dared me to call and leave a voice mail that said it was over, until the very end of it, by which I said, "hey it was all a joke, I still love you." That deadly feeling grew in my stomach when he didn't call or text me that night. I worried. I textd him. He didn't make it to the end of the voicemail before he hung up and punched a wall.
We tried to talk it out... It didn't work. I hurt him so much that it was never going to be the same again, which broke my heart as much as it broke his. It was early morning. 2 or 3 a.m. I cried all night, and the next night, and the next one. My ex-friend tried to get me to blame her, but deep down inside: i knew it was my fault.
He got over it a lot faster than I did. There wasn't any use, trying to get him to go back out with me. So I was devestated, crushed, torn, over. Our friendship has been rocky ever since.

And then, Friday night, my family was hanging with his family, enjoying a warm firepit on a cold october night. I could feel his eyes on me. Then I got the text where he asked me back out. I wanted to cry. I had just gotten over him, finally moved on. I told him I didn't want to get hurt, so i'd think about it. 5 minutes later I got another text that said, "I can only hope you say yes."
I didn't answer. I was 2 seconds away from texting yes when he texted, " I only wish you would've told me sooner. I was just asked out and I don't know what to say." I changed my mind then. Told him,"go ahead and chose her if you want. but i was close to saying yes." Never again do I want to go out with him, knowing what kind of pain I had caused for the both of us. I think I ruined our friendship, by telling him no. I know it's messed up, but he kind of won't talk to me. He did break his phone, but he used to tell me that he like to talk on the phone better than texting. But, yes. Ever since the day I got over him I didn't want him to ask me back out. I had dreams about him, about what had happened in those 13 days. I hated it. It was like my mind was playing tricks on me, taunting me with what I wanted to feel again.
He has ruined my weekend, but yet, even thought I said no, I still love him.
1 month 2 days!!!!


Ellie said...

oh. i am so sorry about what happened to you. hearts are difficult to mend. i can only hope that everything will go well for you soon. time is what you need, my friend.

and yes,
i saw a bug on breaking dawn and i was like, "HOLY CRAP, THERE'S A BUG ON BREAKING DAWN!!!!"

excuse my french.
it was an intense moments.


Ellie said...

i read ur previous posts.
need help posting vids?
on youtube, find the link where it says "html" it should be somewhere on the side near description or under the vid itself.
copy and paste.
when composing a post, instead of being on the regular composing tab, click the HTML tab which is at the top of the box you type in.
hope this helps.
let me know if u need more help.

Lover-lee...♥ said...

and you didn't tell me? -buddy?
i'm sorry
i love you though =]

♥perky♥ said...

she didnt tell you but she told me... WOW first time for everything. i almost feel loved (sorry anne)

<.:OeCd:.> said...

yepp first time for everything.