2.2.2010

Dear Josh,

Why is it I am so disappointed in myself? I mean, sure, I told myself that I was going to get over myself and not fall in love. But I shouldn't have made that promise. I broke it and I'm suffering for it. I can't stand the feelings I feel when something happens. To be quite honest, all these feelings are for you.

Until tonight, when I will explain...

xoxo,
Amour

2.1.2010 (a second letter)

Dear Josh,

I'm so confused about life. I'm so confused about you. I feel like I'm getting mixed signals, if I'm getting any at all. And they hurt. They are breaking me apart. Worse than what I was before. So what am I to do?

xoxo,
Amour

2.1.2010

Dear Josh,

Valentine's Day is soon. Will you be my Valentine? Sigh. We talked about love today in english. We are about to start Romeo and Juliet. And by takling about love I got to thinking. Josh, do you love me? I hope so.

Today I started writing a short story. Maybe once I'm done I'll put it on here. I'd really like you to read it.

Happy By NeverShoutNever!
You make me happy, whether you know it or not
We should be happy, that's what I said from the start
I am so happy, Knowing you are the one that
I want for the rest of my days,
for the rest of my days, you're all of my days.
you're looking so cool, you're looking so fly,
I can't deny that when I'm staring you down
right dead in the eye, I wanna try to be the person you
want, the person you need,
it's hard to conceive that somebody like you,
could be, with someone like me

[Chorus:]
I'm happy knowing that you are mine,
the grass is greener on the other side,
The More I think, The more I wish that we
could lay here for hours, and justa reminisce.
Uh Ooh ooh!

you're looking so fresh it's catching my eye,
why oh why, did I not see this before,
[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/qWQd ]
the girl I adore, was right in front of me.
and now I'll take a step back,
and look in your eye and ask why,
It took so long too see, we're meant to be.

[Chorus:]
I'm happy knowing that you are mine,
the grass is greener on the other side,
The More I think, The more I wish that
we could lay here for hours, and justa reminisce.

On the good, the bad, the ugly,
the smiles, the laughs, the funny.
oh all the things we put each
other through, it's for you, for you, for you!

You make me happy, whether you know it or not
We should be happy, that's what I said from the start
I am so happy, Knowing you are the one that
I want for the rest of my days, for the rest of my days.

[Chorus:]
I'm happy knowing that you are mine,
the grass is greener on the other side,
The More I think, The more I wish that we
could lay here for hours, and justa reminisce.
Uh Ooh Ooh!



xoxo,
Amour

1.30.2010

Dear Josh,

What is wrong with us? We never seem to be able to keep it altogether. I'm trying my hardest to keep you from falling apart. Why won't you let me help you? Im trying to keep us both alive, and well, will you please let me help you?


xoxo,
Amour

1.29.2010

Dear Josh,

I guess things are different than they were once before. I still don't know what changed, but something did, and when I find out, it'll be the next big thing since..well...when you admitted the one thing that literately made my life fall back into place...well and then it kind of crumbled again. But I guess life is all the same, I'm still waiting for a day when the music is sweet, the fruit is ripe, the air is fresh, the rain is clean, and love is all I need.



But that day has yet to come, but when it does, you'll know..You will all know. :)


xoxo,
Amour

1.28.2010

Dear Josh,

I don't understand what has happened here in the past couple days. I've been so great, and then

BAM

it all comes spirialing down, 'round and 'round when

BOOM

I hit rock bottom, and then my boat sinks, it's lined with lead and it's filling with water, faster and faster, and soon I'll be drowning in my own little world, I'll be lost in the water, lost in the light, lost in the little world where I know only one thing, what I feel towards this one person. Maybe I'll figue it out eventually. Maybe I won't ever figure it out, why I go up and down, but then again maybe everyone is right, maybe I have lost it. But I haven't lost this one thing that matters the most...and I'm glad I still have it.

xoxo,
Amour

Happy Birthday To Me O_o

So, my birthday morning went a little something like this:

Monday: come home sick from school, go to sleep from about 12:30 to 1 ish. Monday night: cant sleep. supposed to be asleep, but cant sleep. Tossing and turning.

Tuesday morning (3:45 am ish) Im too warn. I get up to go change pants, and i start brushing my hair. when im done i take the hair out of the brush and suddenly i'm uber dizzy. I bend down and calm myself, thinking im going to go get mom. Everything goes black and i dont remeber anything.

I wake up with uncomfortable pains in my back. I had passed out, fallen to the ground, hitting the towel rack

(COULD HAVE been worse, like i could have hit my head on the counter sink!)

Mom flips and takes me to the ER. I spend 2 and a half hours testing only to find out they dont know what causes that for me, and i have a tendency to pass out when "over heated"

So now I hurt, bruised and all, but I'm oK.

xoxo,
Capri